Friggin’ Autism. My kids deserve better. Not due to entitlement but due to the fact that it seems inhumane for a child to have sensory/social issues and be completely aware of it. I equate it to having an arm or leg with a mind of it’s own. You have no control over that appendage but you are aware enough to know it’s abnormal. You are also aware enough to understand the hurtful things people say to you and your parents. I guess I am just a bit raw this week. I missed one IEP meeting ( which is a big no-no in and of itself) and the other IEP meeting I did attend was disheartening to say the least. I am just at my wits end with this whole debacle. You have teachers that tell you your child will never go to college. You have friends and family, who mean well, telling you about all these neat new therapies, diets, child rearing advice etc. Doctors telling you,”I don’t know.” Complete strangers calling my child and me names,asking why I don’t control my children better, if my children were theirs, they’d never behave that way.”
I realize my opinions are my own and not many share them but I really don’t like Autism. I think kids with autism and their parents are amazing, however Autism can shove it where the sun don’t shine. When you have three out of four of your kids on the spectrum it’s a friggin’ circus. Granted I rather like my circus family but it can get a bit nuts/overwhelming.
In my family’s case, I wish there was a cure. Before you all go ballistic on me, hear me out. I don’t want my children’s personality to change, I just want them to be able to succeed in this world. I have heard parents say, there’s nothing wrong with people who have Autism, they don’t need a cure. They’re right, nothing is wrong with the person, the problem lies with the disorder. Moving on,then they go on to call the parents who would like a cure all sorts of valuable names. Real uplifting empathetic,sympathetic sort of stuff. I just know that in cases like my youngest son, who is severely disabled, he won’t be able to participate in society like a neuro-typical. More than likely he will always live at home, he will not get married or even date as that all is beyond his comprehension. I don’t even know if he’ll be able to hold down a job. I love my son more than life itself but that doesn’t mean I should do him the disservice of avoiding reality. If you live in denial, you will never move forward. Despite my perhaps, disparaging remarks, the fact is that I will be able to move forward with my children far faster by living in truth than I will living in denial. The truth isn’t always pretty, it’s not always comforting, it’s merely the truth.
I know that what I am feeling now is not what everyone is feeling but I can say that, though uncomfortable, I am sitting in these damned feelings and enduring them because I know I will learn from the experience. I strongly encourage anyone reading this disaster, that your feelings are valid, no matter what and you need to sit in them even if it’s extremely painful.